if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
