she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
