I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
