Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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