how can u be prego again
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
