i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
