you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
