no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
