Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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