Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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