Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
