Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize