o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
