ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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