when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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