How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
