I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
