my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dignity is for republicans.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The Olympian is in my bed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
