No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
