Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You're like the curious george of whores
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
