she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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