Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
