did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
