i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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