You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
