That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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