No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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