You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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