I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize