I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize