Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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