What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
