I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
