omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize