NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
