you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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