i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
