do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
