that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
