I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Someone shattered a urinal.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
