You can't special order awesome
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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