watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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