That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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