My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
