Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
