the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
