The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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