he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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