they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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