Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
