I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
