I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
