a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
