Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
