gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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