I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize