Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
