We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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