You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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