I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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