the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
