Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
